How to deal with an annoying colleague & roommate? [closed]

manpreet Best Answer 2 years ago

I have just started a new job (my first 'real' one). There is a colleague who instantly attached herself to me, me being the only other woman. She is very irritating and pushy, distracting and unprofessional. I don't mean to change this girl, and maybe I could deal with her in work, but she is tiring.

The main problem is that we have been sent as a small team on a project for several months, and I have found out I will be living with this woman. I don't think I can handle this situation for that long. She is already talking about doing everything together from breakfast to evening-time.

I don't want to be mean to this woman, but I really don't think I can handle this. I am wondering what you guys think about handling this? What are my options? What do think would be best here?

manpreet 2 years ago

When you travel work, you often have to deal with people you don't particularly care for on the team. You need to learn this skill.

It's not clear to me if you are actually sharing a hotel room, but if that is the expectation, I would speak to the boss right now and ask that you not have a roommate. Everyone is entitled to some privacy when they are travelling for more than a couple of days.

The main thing is to set limits from the beginning. It is much harder to get people to back off after you let them bully you into doing everything together for awhile. If you want private time while on the trip or to go places alone, make sure you tell the team right now.

If you want to eat meals alone, don't accept meal invitations. If she joins you without asking, then let her know the first time it happens that you prefer not to talk to anyone at breakfast or whatever. For dinner you could wait to go get it until you know the others have eaten.

You may be sharing a rental car with this person and others. In this case, you may need to give up some of your flexibility to go places if you don't want to go with the group. This is your choice, but recognize that they are not frequently going to give a shared rental car to one person and leave everyone else stranded. Either rent your own car or use public transportation or taxis/Uber to get around. Do not expect to be reimbursed for that if you choose not to go with the group in the shared rental car.

It is better if you can be friendly and at least go to some places with the group or with this person. Just make sure that you set clear limits on how much time alone you need to have. Just say up front that you will be glad to join them for dinner twice a week, but that you need some alone time or what ever limit you want to set. I used to go to dinner with the group (that is the easiest thing to do when you share a rental car unless you are going to eat at the hotel every night which gets old real fast.) and then return to my room while they went out drinking for instance. Then I might join them on Friday night if we weren't going home on the weekend.