Told boss about racist remarks coworker made, but they don't want HR involved. What do I do?

manpreet Best Answer 2 years ago

I have a coworker who seems to make it a point to discuss religion/politics/everything most would deem unacceptable during work hours. The other day, he interrupted a conversation between myself and one of our managers to start a race conversation that I tried to cut off several times. He eventually made a very offensive remark about a particular minority group (We are both people of color, I am a part of the group he referred to, he is not), ending with a comment directed at me.

My manager reported it to another manager who then asked me about it. The coworker told the manager that he would apologize... and that didn't happen.

This coworker has been to HR several times for his rude comments. When I mentioned going to HR, that manager said that they wanted to keep this incident "in the department" (He said he would prefer I didn't go to HR).

I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want him to get away with this but I don't want to cause any trouble. Should I go to HR anyway?

Update: My manager informed HR of the situation and let them know that we would have a meeting to give this person an opportunity to apologize. Well the meeting went horribly. This person didn't seem to care that the Manager was in the room. They screamed, lied about details (that the other manager and I confirmed) and said that he stood by the offensive comment he made before storming out. Even my Manager said, "it may have been better to have HR here." I left work for a little while to calm down, but as soon as I went back, I went straight to HR.

manpreet 2 years ago

From your point of view, this seems to be a clear case of harassment. You don't mention the country - in many countries this would be a huge problem for the harasser, and it could become a problem for the company if it doesn't act to solve the problem.

I can understand that a manager wants to keep this quiet. Doesn't mean they are right, but I can understand it. He doesn't want to lose an employee, and he probably wishes it would never have happened. It's a bit cowardly, but I can understand it. Your goal should be to stop the harassment while keeping the best possible standing in the company for yourself and the best possible relationship with that manager.

I would suggest that you go to the manager who wants to keep it quiet, tell him that you find that coworker's behaviour unacceptable, that you expect this manager to stop it from happening again, and that you will go to HR if it happens again, and that you expect his full support if that happens.

And it would be best if that manager had a meeting with you and the coworker, where he tells the coworker that what he is doing is unacceptable and must stop, and what the consequences are if it repeats.

(Jan Doggen might be right that maybe you shouldn't be present during that conversation; that's difficult to judge. And there's the comment by Jeff L. that you want something from your manager in writing where he confirms that you complained, so nobody can call you a liar if this happens again and you finally go to HR).