I snapped at a co-worker, apologized, but now HR wants me to meet with her

manpreet Best Answer 3 years ago

I lost my cool after a co-worker sent an email calling out IT for not doing their job (totally unfounded, btw). When I went to investigate the issue, she confronted me and I snapped at her briefly. She contacted HR and I apologized in writing, stating I know it was unprofessional, inappropriate, and it won't happen again (which was the recommended course by my supervisor).

HR asked me if I wanted to do a sit down meeting with her to discuss our conflict, to which I responded no. It was a one time issue, I apologized, it won't happen again, and I considered it over. HR said they would tell her I wasn't interested in meeting.

Email from HR today requiring me to sit down and discuss with HR and the person I snapped at. Am I required to go? I'm not a fan on conflict (who of us are), but I'm not too happy that HR is forcing me to go sit in a room with the person.

manpreet 3 years ago

Email from HR today requiring me to sit down and discuss with HR and the person I snapped at. Am I required to go? I'm not a fan on conflict (who of us are), but I'm not too happy that HR is forcing me to go sit in a room with the person.

If you are in the position where HR is requiring you to go to this meeting, you go to this meeting.

Just because the conflict is over for you doesn't mean it is for her. Conflict resolution isn't "well I'm over it, she was immature, so I'm not going" (which appears to be your attitude).

You can choose not to go. Keep in mind this is probably a lot more severe of a situation than you realize. It is not good to ever be referred to HR for anger management problems which result in episodes at work, let alone to ignoring a required meeting to address them.

Ignoring this meeting is likely to result in significant problems for your continued employment at this company. At the very best case you will have a reputation for being "that guy" and no one will want to bring you onto their team.